Sometimes people feel stuck in a vicious cycle or stuck in a rut. They feel that they are fixed to a point with no relevant or desirable movement. The feeling we get of wanting to get unstuck, to grow, to make changes, and experience new things are a pointer to the fact that we are long overdue for a change of some sort.
Whether it is a collection of decisions you made that brought you to this point or it just happened through a series of events outside your direct control, there is a way out and this five-step process will help you get unstuck.
Step 1: Analysis and Assessment
The first step is to carry out a critical and honest assessment of where you are right now and how you got there. Bear in mind that it could have been a collection of decisions you made or failed to make or it could be a series of events outside of your direct control, or even a problem you inherited. Whatever the case, the first step is to do an assessment of where you are and how you got there.
Do not censure yourself in generating ideas. Put everything that comes to mind on the sheet of paper you are using or if you choose to use a computer, put everything right there on the screen. Mind-mapping is a good tool you can use for this exercise. Mind mapping is a visual thinking tool that helps you get information out, generate ideas, and analyze information. There are some free mind-mapping tools available on the internet.
Assessing where you are and how you got there will help you to identify positive contributions you have made to your life and the negative ones as well. Taking note of the negative ones will help you consciously break negative patterns and actions so that you don’t repeat the past. You are also able to reinforce positive actions that have contributed to the successes you have had. Identifying where you are helping to shed light on the reality of your situation and put things in perspective for changes you need to make.
Step 2: Forgive and Be Forgiven
Forgiveness is a powerful process in getting unstuck. Forgiveness as a step to getting unstuck is in two dimensions. You need to forgive and you need to be forgiven as well. You have to forgive first. The highest ever form of forgiveness you can receive is when the creator of the universe forgives you, it gives a brand new life and you are able to walk into the things He has made for you.
Here is what Jesus Christ said about forgiveness “If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done” (Matthew 6:14-15 Good News Translation). So forgive others. An expert said that forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.
Forgive – people, events, yourself, etc. Let go of the bitterness, pain, hatred, and anger on the wrongs of the past. Let them all go, no matter who wronged you or how they did it, you remain a victim by holding on to it and it is keeping you stuck.
The second dimension of forgiveness is seeking forgiveness from God, the Creator of the Universe. Simply ask Him to forgive you for all your wrongs. Also seek forgiveness from people you have wronged where necessary and make peace with them. Unforgiveness is an anchor to ugliness. Let it go and be free as a bird.
Step 3: Identify Anchors
An anchor is a device used to keep a vessel in place to prevent it from drifting. Anchors are things that hold people in place and prevent them from making relevant forward movement. Now that you have gotten rid of the number one anchor that keeps people stuck, the next step is to identify the anchors that are keeping you stuck in place. It could be habits, where necessary seek help to break the habits. Once again mind mapping comes in handy here and is especially useful to help you with this process.
It could be relationships that are not healthy and wholesome, it is a great idea at this time to end such relationships. Seek professional help where this is necessary. It could also be wrong ideas or associations; ideas and associations that have not served you well in the past and have only kept you stuck need to go so that you can move forward.
Wrong deeply held beliefs also act as anchors. You will need to change your negative thoughts and emotions to positive thoughts and emotions. Begin now to see yourself in a positive light. Now that you have forgiven others and received forgiveness yourself, you can begin a journey where you are not limited in any shape or form. You can achieve all that you want to achieve and you need to begin to believe that.
Step 4: Ask and You Will Receive
Decide what you want in clear specific terms and create mental images of them. This step involves asking God, the Creator of the Universe for the things you want in different areas of your life from finances, career, family, relationships, business, community, etc. Be clear and specific about what you want and create mental images of the things you want.
When asking God for the things you want, present the mental images to Him and hold on to those mental images. After asking, believe you have received it. Those mental images you have created, see yourself in them. A tip that always helps is to make your mental image dynamic and put motion in it. For instance if you are asking for a new career or a life partner, see yourself in the mental image moving, having dinner with your life partner, interacting with people, creating products, see yourself driving or on an airplane to somewhere, etc. Seeing yourself in the mental image and making it dynamic with movements helps in the visualization process and makes the mental image easier to hold on to.
Now begin to believe that you have already received the things in your visualization and feel gratitude for them and be thankful now. Begin to feel you have received them and feel now the way you will when you receive them. Sit in the new office in your imagination, drive the new car in your imagination, travel to distant lands in your imagination, create changes in your community in your imagination, etc. Be thankful.
Let this feeling be continuous and if you can, at least once a day, set aside five to ten minutes to visualize your mental image and feel you have received them and be thankful. Just step just like all the others is extremely important to the process of getting unstuck.
Step 5: Gratitude
This happens to be a very powerful process. Be thankful for how far you have come in life. Remember that you have forgiven and received forgiveness. Recall that one definition of forgiveness is giving up on the hope that the past could be any different. This eliminates the need for blame, bitterness, sadness, and regret. Only be thankful for everything as it is now and as it is going to be, because from now you are getting the things in the clear mental images you have created.
Show and express gratitude for the things you receive. Be thankful each and every day for each big event and small event. Be thankful everyday for the happenings in your life. Very importantly be grateful for the things and the life you desire as if you have already received it.
These are five steps to take that will get anyone, anywhere unstuck and on a path of happiness.